Virgin: how to deal with Prejudice?

Ms. Leonie Astrella Dimba, a communication expert working with RENATA in Yaoundé expresses herself on how to deal with virgin prejudice. 

Virginity (being a virgin in girls or being a virgin in boys) is a concept relating to a person who has never had sexual relations/intercourse. The English study represented by a masculine consultant in general medicine estimates 14% of girls sexually harassed as virgins and boys 4.5% (coxell et al., 1999).  Not based on a biological basis, virginity is a social, cultural and religious fact. However, nowadays this concept remains old fashioned to say that one is virgin becomes rare and ashamed. Many teenagers are subjected to this, I will call it “Violence” because they are virgins. Prejudices are thus legions.  When a teenager keeps his/her virginity over 15 years old, he is thought to have sexual weakness, lack courage, he is ashamed of his body that he is not the type to flirt or that he has a health problem. So, they are generally under pressure from their peers who have already had sex: “You don’t know what you’re missing, its super good, and your parents refuse you from tasting the forbidden fruit as God made Adam”. 

So how do you deal with this pressure, your prejudice? First you have to talk about it, discuss with your parents on questions related to sexuality even though you are on a continent where it remains a taboo. The child can approach the subject with his elders by strategically asking questions (what is the blood I often see on my pants, why is my panties wet in the morning? What is it to be a virgin?)But the big responsibility at this level  belongs to the parents who must establish a positive dialogue with their children from the beginning of adolescence. Secondly, choose good friends, get away from all those who put you pressure on the loss of your virginity, and surround yourself with friends who share similar goals. 

Thirdly, trust only in yourself. Stay firm on your NO. We can have a boyfriend without having sex with, chat with him, if he starts with pressure, you move away from him firmly because the first sexual intercourse generally hurts, the body is not yet mature enough, we do not know the size of the sex with which we will go to know the consequences that this can cause us. 90 % of girls regret having lost their virginity too early. I’m not talking about those who were raped or forced to do so. The first intercourse when done early can destroy your whole life. Early pregnancy STD, STI, HIV/AIDS are not things to risk to please others. So later it is not only better but best.

Presented by Che Engochan with the expertise of Ms Léonie Astrella Dimba, Communications Officer at RENATA